Sunday, April 17, 2011
Descriptive paragraph
A bloody battle has come to an end. The smell of blood fills the air. The battlefield comprises of the last soldier standing, attacking with what is left on him, a pathetic grenade. He throw it in revenge, putting his comrades hopes and faith in him in his last attempt to attack the enemy. Once in a while, he will hear the sound of explosion in the air, the pain he sustain in the war can never be felt again.
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There are some tense problems in your paragraph such as "He throw it in revenge" and also "Once in a while, he will hear..." and also "the pain he sustain in the war...". There is also a grammatical error in "putting his comrades hopes" which should be "putting his comrades' hope".
ReplyDeleteHope that helps.
There are some tense problems and dramatical errors. Your writing will definitely improve if you try to correct these errors. As Beh Guan Hong has stated, those are your errors. Your expository will lost many marks because of errors like these. Therefore you should try to correct them.
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